Is My Period a Death Sentence?

Written Anonymously

In 2017, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). I was 22 at the time of my diagnosis. Nearly ten years after my first period, and I finally had an understanding of why my periods were so awful. Why, for nearly seven days every month, I would have to load up on pain relievers, heating pads, and lie in the fetal position to attempt to ease my pain. It took ten years of talking to different doctors, doing research, and suffering in pain to finally receive a diagnosis. 

When I think about my experiences as a woman, for the most part I feel blessed. My skin color, socio-economic status, and my amazing family have protected me from some baseline difficulties that so many other women face. I was never told that I could not be something, or that women couldn’t/shouldn’t do something simply for being a woman, I was never shamed for having a period, or asking questions about relationships. I have been lucky. Of course, like many women I have heard catcalls on a night out, and someone has touched me in a way that I did not feel comfortable with. I have used windows as mirrors to make sure no one is following me, and I have carried keys in between my fingers for years. Strangely enough I feel the dangers of gender inequality, and of my own femininity most, when I seek any type of medical care.

The first time I sought treatment for my horrible periods was in 2009. I went to my general practitioner, Dr. K, and requested birth control to resolve my continuous pain. Instead of walking me through why my periods could be so painful, or discussing other solutions for period pain, Dr. K. said to me:

“I hope that you are going on the birth control just for your period, and not for other reasons. If you are going on it for other reasons I will not prescribe it for you.” 

She said this to me while my mother was in the room. This was not the first time my monthly torment had been brought to the doctor’s attention. Even if I was using birth control for reasons other than period pain, Dr. K’s behavior was unprofessional, judgmental, and extremely unhelpful for an already-struggling teenager. Rather than looking for a cause, the doctor slut-shamed me, and then signed a script and never followed up. 

When I was diagnosed it was a relief. All of sudden a slew of other symptoms that I had struggled with made sense: weight gain, intolerance to certain foods, bad periods, moodiness, overheating too easily: it all made sense.  After spending months researching online for what might be causing all of these issues, I found a page on PCOS and I finally felt validated. I brought the information to my OBGYN, Dr. L. She listened to me, discussed that it was quite possible, ran some tests, and confirmed that I did in fact have PCOS. Simply prescribing the RIGHT birth control could be a way of managing many of the symptoms.

The medical community, in its many iterations, needs to make sure that they are serving, and most importantly, listening to the women that seek their help. Additionally, I hope the medical community can remove their own judgments about a patient so they can really hear their health concerns. For me, the delay in my diagnosis was not life or death. But for so many women, especially women of color, being ignored by doctors can be a death sentence.